When Will I Be ‘Done’ With Therapy?
Therapy is an investment of time, energy, emotions, and money. It makes sense that you want some sort of guarantee you are getting as much out of it as you are putting in. It would be great if the answer was simple and straightforward. From a therapist’s perspective, let me share why the question of ‘when will I be done with therapy’ can be so complex.
Finding The Right Fit
When I was preparing to purchase my first car, I had a general idea of the type of car I wanted and went to a few dealerships to try them out. When I started therapy, I picked a therapist that sounded good enough and stuck with them. Don’t get me wrong, she was great. However, it never crossed my mind that I could ‘shop around’.
One factor in determining how long therapy will take is finding the right therapist for you. First, you get an idea of what kind of therapist or treatment modality you want. Then you call up a few therapists and request a consultation session so you can get a feel for the therapist’s style. Similar to a job interview, you want to know that they are a good fit for you just like as they are also determining if you are a good fit for them. Don’t be afraid to ask questions.
Low And Slow: The Rhythm Of Therapy
As a therapist, I rarely have a clear idea as to what a client is coming to see me for. Even if I have a consultation or they filled out my intake questionnaire, clients just couldn’t possibly tell me everything that I ever need to know about them. Nor would I want or expect them to.
The first 2-3 sessions are usually spent doing an intake assessment where the therapist is gathering information about who you are, how you see the world, and how others relate to you. Depending on the therapist, it may not feel like a clinical assessment; however, they may ask you questions about employment, family, supports, what your concern is, and how you have attempted to solve it. The context or the why is just as important as the situation that is causing you distress.
Gathering the context will take time which is something to consider when understanding how long you will be in therapy. A good therapist will not rush, pressure, or force you to dive into the things that cause you distress. They will work along the edges of your distress to avoid exacerbating your symptoms and build trust versus diving in.
Make The Most Of Sessions
Okay, so you found a therapist by ‘shopping around’. You’re settled into the first few sessions where you and your therapist have gotten to know each other. Now you feel ready for some deeper work. Being unprepared for sessions is one of the most common ways to prolong your therapy treatment.
Most therapists are client-led. The therapist works with what you bring into session every week. If you come to sessions without thinking about what you want to address, then you don’t give the therapist much to work with. I don’t know much about football, but I imagine in a game, the coach can show up, but if the player didn’t read the plays then chances are the game may not go so well. Not sure how to prepare for a session to WWWWWMake The Most Out Of Sessions, read this blog.
Progress Is Not Linear
As you are in therapy you may notice that the thing you came in for that was once causing you distress feels much more manageable. But you are now talking about other areas in your life. I have found that to be a very natural transition in therapy. This doesn’t mean that you are unfocused, but it could mean that progress is not liner. We are such complex humans that many of our emotions, ideas, and stresses are interconnected. So while you may be experiencing stress at work, it could lead to conversations about evaluating your support system. Although this may be very helpful to your healing, it could prolong your ideal timeline regarding how long you will be done with therapy.
Most importantly, knowing the amount of time you spend in therapy is deeply personal and depends on your individual needs, goals, and starting point. The number of recommended sessions varies by therapist, concern, frequency of sessions, and treatment type. A good rule of thumb is to give it about 6-8 sessions, check in with yourself and your therapist and assess if things are progressing as you imagined they would be. Be open to feedback and adjusting your expectations. I encourage you to trust the process, be present, and allow things to unfold naturally.
From One Human To Another, Be Well
-Melissa
